“Joy is the holy fire that keeps our purpose warm and our intelligence aglow.” —Helen Keller I have found myself, in recent times, considering the difference between joy and happiness and been participating in rather a lot of people watching. I find my attention drawn, especially, to young children and their ability to feel and…[read more]
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What I want, what I need in my heart, is to find a simple stillness within me and be able to bring that to the surface when I feel the spiral igniting in my body.
Sometimes I achieve this and mainly I don’t. That is when I realize how hard on myself I am and how hard I have always been on myself. I would never treat a friend like I treat myself.
Note to self; be kind to me.
So how can we find that elusive stillness so many of us are seeking in this busy, noise polluted world?
Meditation, my friends.
Breathe-work, my friends.
Nature, my friends.
Deliberately switching off from social media, my friends.
Choosing to be silent, my friends.
Sitting still with no other agenda than to be, my friends.
yoga and particularly yoga nidra, my friends.
During my recent online retreat, we used all of these practices to call in stillness. I wasn’t sure how it would work online but somehow it did. In two, two hour spells of time we gathered together to support each other in our search.
Have you tried Nadi Shodhana * alternative nostril breathing?
Nadi Shodhana benefits;
Infuses the body with oxygen
Clears and releases toxins
Reduces stress and anxiety
Calms and rejuvenates the nervous system
Helps to balance hormones
Supports clear and balanced respiratory channels
Helps to alleviate respiratory allergies that cause hay fever, sneezing, or wheezing
Balances solar and lunar, masculine and feminine energies
Fosters mental clarity and an alert mind
Enhances the ability to concentrate
Brings balance to the left and right hemispheres of the brain
I just love it for rebalancing me when I am all over the place.
DEPRESSION came calling
Again in my life following separation from my now ex-husband
This time it was different
This time I was fully functioning & able to compartmentalise (if that’s a word)
I would wake up alone in the bed we had bought together for our first home together & feel the weight of loneliness
Alone ness
Then, knowing I had to keep it together for the children, I would cry bucket loads whilst getting ready for work, get everyone ready for the school & put on my mask of « business as usual » just to get through the day
This time I had 2 innocent children to look after
I focused all my attention & love on them
I rarely disappeared under my duvet although the urge to was still there
I turned to wine & chocolate on an evening as comfort
I relied on fiction reading to “pretend” I was someone else, in a different life. A life with a happy ending...
It took almost 3 years to see the light at the end of the tunnel
What a long tunnel
Almost 3 years until I stepped out of depression & into the light...
In #mentalhealthawarenessweek I am here if you need to talk
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#mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealthmatters #mentalhealth #depression
Today is the start of mental health awareness week...
Depression first hit me after being injured by 2 students when I worked in a school for boys with emotional difficulties who had been « kicked out » of mainstream school
I was 30 years old & looking forward to my wedding
My shoulder was so badly damaged that I couldn’t drive, wash my own hair or use my left arm (I’m left handed) at all
Feeling so dependent on others for my basic care, saw me spiraling down the depression slide & I remember having to phone my mum every morning just to find the strength & support to get out of bed
I had no understanding of depression before this
I had no compassion for anyone who was living with depression
I thought it was “just feeling sorry for yourself”
I’ve known depression since & can now identify the signs & act quickly
For those with depression; I see you
Wishing you a peaceful day
Sending love ❤️
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#mentalhealthawareness #mentalhealth #mentalhealthmatters
Thanks to Nadine Astorga for pointing this post & writer out... You know what we call someone who watches their partner suffer with exhaustion and demoralization so they can get a few minutes to themselves?
An abuser.
I keep seeing articles offering women (always women) advice for getting more "help" from their male partners during the coronavirus. It's always phrased as help, since we assume that the children and the home and basically everything else are the woman's responsibility, no matter how many hours she works.
Make a list so he knows what to do, they tell us.
Assume he has good intentions.
Just remind him. But remember not to nag him. Men don't like that, and we must prioritize what men like above all else, including our own mental health.
Maybe he just needs more sleep.
Maybe he just needs you to teach him how to do it.
He's really trying, I'm sure.
Whatever you do, don't make him feel bad. Only women deserve to feel bad. Only women deserve to lose all their time because of men.
Why do we always put the burden on women? Why is it her responsibility to know what to do and then make him do it? And why does she have to be nice and gentle when he is stealing her time?
Let's be clear: there is not a male incompetence gene. Women are not born with an innate proclivity to know that human children need to eat to survive. There is no such thing as a dishwashing or vacuuming hormone.
Men do this because they can get away with it. And now, the coronavirus has made it all so very clear. Women are getting to see day in and day out all the leisure time, all the sleep, all the relaxation their partners buy with women's labor.
We do not need articles telling us how to do this. We do not need useful tips. We do not need a calendar or a schedule or cell phone reminders.
We need only to ask two questions:
Is he participating as an equal partner in raising the children he helped create?
Does he get leisure time when you do not?
Men who buy free time and clean houses and happy children with their wives' exhaustion and labor are not incompetent fools. They're not well-meaning ninnies who just can't manage to remember basic facts about human existence, like that someone has to watch the children. They are doing this because they can get away with it.
We need to look at the standard American heterosexual marriage and acknowledge that it does not work for most women. It is set up--not by accident, but by design--to prioritize the needs of men.
It doesn't have to be this way. It is not inevitable. Many husbands, my own included, can remember that children die if they don't eat and that kids don't learn to read if no one reads to them. They can follow schedules without a mommy-wife telling them to.
Men get away with this shit because we let them. We spend our lives strategizing about how to gently bring things up and get just a little more help. No more articles. No more advice. No more bland reassurances.
We need to be done with this idea that men's good behavior should depend on whether and how well women police them, talk to them, and reward them. We don't ever need another article telling us to make a list and assume good intentions.
Fuck. That. Tell that asshole to get up and get to work or get out.
I HATE MYSELF
Ever heard your inner voice say that?
I know I have
I used to say it a lot
When I looked in the mirror & didn’t really love the reflection looking back at me
Or
When the outcome of something I wanted didn’t manifest
Or
When I judged myself harshly for not achieving a goal I had set myself
SELF HATE
Oooofffff it’s bloody powerful
So if self hate is powerful let’s reframe this
SELF LOVE must be as powerful right?
Would you tell a friend or a child or a parent that you hate them?
Would you?
So why is it Ok to tell yourself such a damaging thing?
With next week being Mental Health Awareness week let’s turn things around & every time to hear a self hate thought or idea come into your head
STOP it & turn it around. Turn the emotion around & open your heart to SELF LOVE
Create a feeling of love & wrap yourself in it~just as you would do a friend or child or parent.
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I have lots of tools to help so please do reach out
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